Love Line-Guest Star, Seifer Almasy
by Asyria Nightshade
Summary: Seifer Almasy on Love Line. Now has the last chpt: The conclusion! Some people will kill me for this. R&R&Enjoy!
1. Intro

LOVE LINE

By: Asyria

Disclaimer: I don't own Seifer Almasy L , or any characters from Final Fantasy 8. I don't own Love Line either. I suck, and there you have it.

Note: If you don't know what Love Line is, then I'll tell you. But this will be much funnier if you do know. Love Line is a radio show staring Adam Carrolla and Dr. Drew. It's really funny. Listeners call in and talk about their problems. They sometimes have special guests on their show, movie stars, music bands, etc. You get the idea. I'm going to write this as if you're listening to the radio, so I won't explain actions. Also, I'm making Love Line in the FF8 world. 

Recorded Announcer: This is Love Line, with Adam Carrolla and Dr. Drew. Some of the material discussed is for a mature audience only. Listener discretion is advised.

Adam: Yep, this is Love Line. I am Adam Carrolla that's Dr. Drew over there. Phone number 1-800-love-191. Dr. Drew is a board-certified physician and an addiction medicine specialist. Tonight, our guest is Seifer Almasy. And for the few people who live under rocks and don't know who he is. He was Sorceress Ultimecia's Knight, a few years back. I guess the first question I have for you is one you probably get asked a lot.

Seifer: Why I did it?

Adam: Exactly.

Seifer: (sighs) Yeah, I get asked that a lot. People just don't want to believe that the sorceress possessed me and I really don't remember half of what I did.

Adam: Really?

Drew: Wasn't it proven in court that you were possessed?

Seifer: Yes, but I guess people need someone to blame.

Drew: I heard you were in therapy.

Seifer: Yeah, but not just for the possession. I also have personal issues.

Drew: Like what?

Seifer: As many know, I was an orphan along with Squall Leonheart and the others. We were all bounced around foster homes. Like them, I had issues with abandonment. We all handled it differently. Squall became a loner, and I became a bully.

Adam: For the attention.

Seifer: Exactly.

Drew: So, how are you doing with that now?

Seifer: Better. I can still be an a-hole, because that's just the way I am. But, I'm not nearly as bad now.

Adam: I heard that you were doing some charity work to make up for some of what you did.

Seifer: Well, I can't make up for the things I did, even if I was possessed. But I want to help people who have suffered from the damage that Edea and myself were forced to do.

Drew: You are part of the massive rebuild of Trabia Garden, correct?

Seifer: Yes, I'm helping with that. Didn't get a very warm reception at first, of course. But they appreciate my help, and I'm enjoying it.

Adam: Before we take our first call tonight, I want to warn our listeners. We're probably going to get some hate calls for Seifer. But, I ask that the people who still have problems with our guest not to call this show, swearing up and down. If you have a comment that you can express with some level of intelligence and without swearing, then by all means. (Pauses) Okay, now our first caller is Allison, from Balamb Garden, and she's 18.

Allison: _Hey, Adam, Dr. Drew._

Adam: Hey, Allison.

Allison: _I have a question for Seifer. How did you feel about Rinoa?_

Seifer: Hmm. Well, I liked her. She's a sweet girl, but she's not really my type.

Allison: _There's rumor around the Garden that you and Instructor Trepe are an item. _

Seifer: (Laughs) Yeah, I heard that one, but it isn't true. Quistis and I are friends. She's seeing someone right now, though.

Allison: _What about you?_

Seifer: (Clears his throat) Yes, I have a girlfriend. Sorry, ladies.

Allison: _Oh well! Thanks, Seifer._

Seifer: Bye, Allison.

Adam: Your girlfriend wouldn't be that lady in the hall, would she?

Seifer: Yeah that's her.

Adam: She looks like she could kick some butt.

Seifer: (Proudly) She can.

Adam: Maybe we can get her in here later on to say a few words.

Seifer: I doubt it, but I can try.

Adam: Okay, our next caller is Fred, also from Balamb G. Hello? (pause, no response) Caller who goes by Fred?

Fred: _Hi, my question is about women._

Adam: Uh oh!

Fred: (laughs) _Yeah. I think my girlfriend is cheating on me. Is there anyway I can find out for sure without confronting her?_

Adam: Well, how did you first get the idea that she's been cheating?

Fred: _She's been seen walking around the halls late at night by people. When I asked her about it, she says she had to stay late at the library._

Drew: Well, besides confronting her yourself, you can talk to your friends. They might have noticed something and were just afraid to tell you.

Adam: Or you could resort to spying if you're less ethical like the rest of us. Anything to add Seifer?

Seifer: (pauses) I can't because I know who Fred is.

Fred: _You do!?_

Seifer: I recognize your voice.

Adam: Well if you know something, you can tell him without revealing his identity.

Seifer: Fred, she's cheating on you.

Fred: _She is! How do you know?_

Seifer: Well, as everyone at B.G. knows, I was re-admitted as a student and graduated two years ago. But I was also formed another Disciplinary Committee, because I'm too busy. They've seen your girlfriend with another guy. Fred, do you remember her acting strange last Thursday?

Fred: _Aw, man! Yeah, she was!_

Seifer: That's because the D.C. caught her out past curfew, with him.

Adam: Is there any way you can tell him who the guy is without revealing anything?

Seifer: (pauses to think) Hey Fred, do you remember catching me putting a guys head in the toilet five or six years back. You are the only one besides me and that guy who knows that happened. But that's the guy.

Fred: _Nida!!! I'm gonna kick his _BEEP_ing ass!_

Adam: Oooh! Had to get rid of Fred, people. He used a bad word. Nida? That's the guy's name?

Seifer: Yeah. 

Adam: Could this guy Fred kick his ass?

Seifer: Yes, definitely. Nida should run for the hills!

Adam: Good advise from Mr. Almasy, I hope he takes it. Hey Drewski, who should we talk to next?

Drew: How about Ray from Balamb Garden?

Adam: Wow, lots of people from Balamb Garden tonight. Probably because of our guest tonight, Seifer Almasy. Okay, Ray is 21 years old. Ray?

Ray: _Hello. I've been seeing this girl for a month. We both really like each other, but she's got this problem with other guys. They follow her around like worshipers. She hates it, but she's too nice to tell them to knock it off. And I'm not a mean guy either. My question is, how can I get them to stop following her around and being mean to me because I'm dating her._

Drew: Have you tried talking to them firmly? 

Ray: _Yes, but they don't listen._

Seifer: Well, Ray. Again, I know who you are and who your girlfriend is. His girlfriend is a friend of mine. I'll take care of it. Because, I'm getting pretty tired of those idiots too!

Ray: _Hey, thanks a lot Seifer._

Adam: Yes, thanks for the help you're providing tonight Seifer. And will be back with Seifer Almasy in just a few minutes.

__

Cut to commercial.

Notes: Well that's it for the first part. Please, review and tell me if I should continue. I welcome comments of the constructive criticizing nature. I'm even thinking about having other characters on for later shows. I know that Seifer is very OOC, but don't worry, I'll get him riled up after the commercials. Tee Hee!


	2. Cheaters and name calling!

__

Back from commercials.

Adam: And we're back with more Love Line. I'm Adam, that's Drew, and our guest tonight is ex-sorceress knight, Seifer Almasy. So far, it's been a good night.

Drew: No hate calls yet.

Adam: But now that Drew has opened his big mouth, we shall have some. Our next caller is Wedge from Deling City. Wedge?

Wedge: _Hi there Adam. I'm having a problem with a friend of mine. We were in the Galbadian Army together, he was my senior officer. But we were both kicked out when the SeeD's escaped from the Prison. I didn't get into that much trouble because I didn't have a high rank. But my friend was an officer. Now all he does is get drunk and plot his revenge against the SeeDs. What should I do?_

Adam: Yikes!

Drew: Well, Wedge, your friend needs to get help for his problem. AA meetings, therapy, and for you to be a supportive friend. As for the revenge part, I think Seifer will be able to help out more there.

Seifer: Yeah, revenge is the first thing I wanted. I wanted to gut every SeeD with my gunblade. But it was my posse that showed me that revenge wasn't the answer. They got me help and I realized that they were doing what they felt was right. Your friend needs to realize that as well.

Wedge: _Your right! Thanks alot guys!_

Adam: Speaking of gunblades, I've always wanted to see one of those puppies. Whip that thing out, Seifer.

Seifer: (chuckling) Gunblades are the best weapons ever made.

Drew: Wow! That's so threatening!

Adam: Well, of course it is! I bet many a men have wet themselves at the sight of this.

Seifer: Very true.

Drew: I see that on the computer, we have a caller wondering about that weapon. Michael from Timber?

Michael: _Yeah, hi Dr. Drew. I wanted to ask Seifer about training with a gunblade. When did you start?_

Seifer: Well, I started around 13 years old at Balamb Garden.

Drew: 13? Wow!

Seifer: I wanted to start earlier, but rules are rules.

Michael: _When did Squall start?_

Seifer: Around the same time. And to set the record straight, I picked the gunblade as a weapon first!

Michael: _Are you guys still rivals?_

Seifer: (pauses) Well, not really. We aren't good friends, but don't fight anymore.

Adam: So, in a one-on-one battle. No GF's. Who would win, you or Squall?

Michael: _My money would be on Leonheart._

Seifer: (snorts) No way! I could still kick his butt any day!

Michael: _Then how come you lost against him?_

Seifer: (angrily) Well, for one thing it wasn't a one-on-one fight! It was three SeeDs against one possessed knight! Let's see how you fair against those odds!

Adam: (half-serious) Yeah, Michael! How dare you insult my guest!

Michael: _Whatever._

Drew: Oh man! It's one of those Squall wannabe's again.

Adam: Yeah, they call this show all the time. Please, Seifer, don't take to heart his ludicrous insults.

Seifer: (laughing) It's okay. I know how much Squall hates those guys.

Adam: Uh oh! There's a Nida from Balamb Garden on the computer screen! Should we take it?

Seifer: Absolutely!

Adam: Nida? Are you the one that's screwing that other guys girlfriend?

Nida: _Yes! Thanks a lot Seifer, now he wants to kill me! I'm in hiding right now. My girlfriend was listening too! _

Seifer: Your girlfriend?

Nida: _Yes, I'm dating Xu! _

Adam: Correction, you were dating Xu.

Nida: _Yeah, and I have Seifer freaking Almasy to thank for that!_

Seifer: Hey, it's your own damn fault for screwing his girlfriend!

Nida: _You didn't have to tell him, you stupid lapdog!_

Seifer: (irrate) Who are you calling lapdog, you whimp! If there's anything left of you after Zell's done, I'm going to beat you senseless! I hope he finds you and kicks your scrawny ass! In fact, as head of the Displinary Committee, I want all the D.C. members who are listening to find Nida and turn him over to Zell!

Nida: _Shut up, Seifer! You _BEEP_ing jerkoff!_

Adam: Wow! Somebody's gonna get hurt tonight!

Seifer: (still fuming) Nobody calls me 'lapdog' and gets away with it!

Drew: Umm, our producer says that your girlfriend wants to come in and calm you down.

Seifer: She does? If it's okay with you guys.

Adam: Hell yes! Get her in here. (pauses) Yeah, this chick definitely looks like she can kick some ass! The eye-patch is cool too.

Seifer: Yeah, she's great. Sit down here, Fujin.

Adam: For those of you who are just tuning in. We have Seifer Almasy on our show. And his beautiful and intimidating girlfriend as just joined us. Say hi to the listeners.

Fujin: Hello.

Drew: Doesn't 'Fujin' mean 'wind spirit'?

Fujin: Yes.

Adam: That's very hippy-esk! But a beautiful name.

Fujin: Thanks.

Adam: So how long have you two lovebirds been dating?

Seifer: About a year. But we've been friends since we both first came to the Garden. She stood by me through all of things that's happened.

Adam: Well, you are a very lucky guy, Seifer. 

Drew: You two have any plans about the future? Marriage prehaps?

Seifer: We were thinking of getting married after Trablia is finished. But nothing definate.

Fujin: Chicken-wuss.

Seifer: (laughing) Hey, be nice! I'm not afraid to marry you.

Fujin: Lair.

Adam: She doesn't talk much does she?

Seifer: Not really. Squall talks more than she does now.

Adam: Well, it's time for another break. Drew's gotta use the restroom and I have to find out if Fujin has any sisters! We'll be back with Seifer Almasy.

__

Cut to commerical.

Notes: There, that was a little more like Seifer. I was gonna wait till I got more reviews to post the second chapter. But after I read the first one, I just couldn't contain my joy! There's more to come! Mwahahahaha!


	3. And the manhunt continues!

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Back from commercials.

Adam: Yes, it's Love Line. I'm Adam and that's Dr. Drew. Our special guest tonight is Seifer Almasy, and his lovely girlfriend Fujin. During the break, we got one of Seifer's friends on the phone to give us an update on the hunt for Nida!

Drew: This is turning into a soap!

Adam: (laughing) Hey this is far more interesting right now! Okay, we have Selphie on the phone with us right now. Selphie?

Selphie: _Hi Adam! Hi Drew! Hi Seifer and Fujin!_

Seifer: Hi Selphie.

Adam: So you guys are calling this a manhunt?

Selphie: _Yeah, it was Zell's idea. And Amanda is soooooo gonna get it from me! I'm gonna ripe her eyes out and stuff 'em down her throat!_

Drew: Woah!

Adam: Amanda? That's Zell's cheating girlfriend, right?

Selphie: _Yeah, that slut! _(Mumbling in the background) _Well, I'm sorry Zell, but she is a slut. _(More mumbling) _I can say slut on the radio if I wanna!_

Seifer: Selphie, tell us what's going on.

Selphie: A_nyway, we have searched the Garden top to bottom and found nothing. But we have reason to believe the 'Trepies' _(groaning noise) _are helping him. Those are Quistis' worshipers by the way. Since Seifer said he was going to 'take care of them', they decided to help Nida out._

Seifer: (growling) Jerkoffs! The D.C. will find you! You can't hide forever!

Selphie: _Booyka! Zell, Selphie, and the D.C. will get your sorry butts! Oh yeah, Seifer, the D.C. Sergent is like severly pissed for some reason! I think he wants to find Nida as bad as Zell! Why is that?_

Fujin: Sorry, Selphie. Secret.

Selphie: _Mega-bummer!_

Seifer: What about Commander Leonheart? Does he have any idea of what's going on?

Selphie: _Not yet, but it won't take long. Quistis is trying to get our Lieutenant Commander out of her room._

Fujin: Poor Xu.

Seifer: If you're listening, Xu, don't worry! We'll find him! But they need your help in keeping Squall off their backs! You can do it, be strong!

Adam: Wonderful words of encouragement, Seifer!

Selphie: _Oh really! Okay guys, we gotta go! We have a lead on his current position_!

Adam: Good times! We'll take some more calls as we wait to hear about Nida's final moments on earth. We have yet another Balamb Garden resident. Quistis?

Quistis: _Hello?_

Seifer: Hey Quistis. 

Quistis: _Hello Seifer. Oh, and thanks for the help you're giving my boyfriend and me._

Adam: Her boyfriend? Is this the one that has worshipers?

Seifer: (chuckling) Yeah. But Quisty, why did you go and say it over the radio?

Quistis: _Please, how many other girls have a group of worshipers?_

Seifer: (cleared his throat) Point taken.

Quistis: _It's okay, it was my boyfriend who spilled the info._

Adam: You're not mad at him are ya? He seemed concerned.

Quistis: _Of course I'm not mad. But he left another important part out! He also has worshipers who follow him everywhere and hate me for dating him. _(Man's voice saying something) _What do you mean you don't want me saying this over the radio? Afraid those girls will get discouraged? _(Mumbling) _No, of course I know you don't flirt with them anymore. And I am very happy about that. _

Adam: Sounds like a happy couple.

Seifer: (huffs) Well, I can't do anything about the 'Kinneas Club' because I'd have to beat up 90% of the female population at the Garden.

Quistis: _And they spell 'club' with a 'K'! _

Adam: Oh for Hyne's sake! That's absurd!

Quistis: _Tell me about it! Well Adam, Dr. Drew, we have Xu here with us. She would like your help in dealing with this situation. There's a lot more to it now._

Drew: Oh boy! Xu?

Xu: (sniffling) _Hi Dr. Drew, Adam._

Adam: Hey, Xu. You okay?

Xu: _No, of course not. I'm a SeeD, second in command for Hyne's sake, and I'm crying like a baby!_

Drew: SeeD's have feelings too, Xu.

Adam: Yeah, we're all here with ya, Xu. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Seifer: I also wanna apologize for this. I feel partially responsible.

Xu: _I don't blame you, Seifer. Sooner or later, Zell and me would have found out. Zell would still want to kill him, and the whole Garden would know about it anyway. _

Seifer: (sighs) That's true.

Xu: _But my problem isn't the fact that he cheated on me. I figured this would happen._

Drew: Now why do you say that?

Xu: _I never told him this, but I knew he didn't love me. Nobody could love me._

Drew: Don't say that! 

Fujin: Nice person!

Seifer: Hell yes! You're smart, one of the best damn SeeD's in the Garden. Everybody loves you!

Xu: _But everybody is hunting Nida for Zell's sake!_

Seifer: No, we're getting him for you too, Xu.

Fujin: Seifer. Tell Xu secret.

Xu: _What secret?_

Seifer: There is one person in the Garden right now, who couldn't care less about getting Nida for Zell. He wants to get him for you! He's been seriously in love with you for years!

Xu: _In love with me? Who?_

Seifer: Well, I don't wanna say it over the air for obvious reasons. It's been causing nothing but trouble. 

Adam: Well it's time for another commercial break. That way you can tell her freely. We'll be back with more Love Line after this!

__

Cut to commercial.

Notes: Now you should know who Quistis's boyfriend is. But who has a crush on Xu??? Why is Selphie so enraged with Amanda? Is Squall going to find out about all this? Find out in the final installment for this episode of Love Line.


	4. The conclusion!

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Back from commercials.

Adam: And we are back with Love Line. Again, I'm Adam Carrolla and that's Dr. Drew. Our producer says that our ratings are higher than ever right now! And we have our special guest tonight, Seifer Almasy, to thank for that. 

Seifer: (laughing) Well, I try my best!

Drew: Oh Hyne!

Adam: What is it Drew?

Drew: Our producer says we have Balamb Garden's Commander Squall Leonheart on the phone!

Adam: But how do we know it's really him?

Seifer: (growling) I'll be able to tell.

Adam: Okay folks, the chocobo crap has hit the fan!

Seifer: (angrily) Bring it on Squall!

Drew: Okay, here goes! Commander Leonheart?

Squall: _Seifer, I am going to kill you._

Seifer: Ha! Yeah, this is Squall!

Adam: Well, Commander Leonheart, it's an honor to meet you.

Squall: _Thanks, but I have to yell at this SeeD who ranks lower than I._

Seifer: Are you pulling rank on me because you're too chicken to talk to me, man-to-man?

Drew: Oh boy!

Squall: _I'm pulling rank only because you have the entire Garden in chaos! _(Mumbling in the background) _I am not overreacting! Half of the Garden is out looking for him now! My Lieutenant is even helping!_

Seifer: You wanna kill him too! Nida and Amanda broke Zell and Xu's hearts! You wanna see him beat into a bloody pulp too, admit it!

Squall: _Even if I did, which I don't, I would not have a manhunt for him! _(Mumbling) _No! I will not calm down! He continues to ignore the rules and I've had it!_

Seifer: I haven't broken any rules this time, puberty-boy! I didn't instigate the manhunt!

Squall: _Yes, you did! You told the D.C. to find him for Zell!_

Seifer: (laughing) That's right, Squally! I told the D.C. to find him, but I didn't tell everybody else to. They are looking out for him of loyalty to Zell and Xu, not me! If you're going to punish me, then you'll have to punish everyone else too! (Pauses, no response) Ha! I'm right this time! I didn't break any of your damn rules, Commander! 

Squall: _Here, take the phone. I have to go. I'll deal with you later, Almasy! _(Pause, a female voice) _Hi!_

Adam: To whom do we have the privilege of speaking to?

Rinoa: _This is Rinoa Leonheart._

Drew: Sorceress Rinoa?

Rinoa: _Yes, but just call me Rinoa._

Adam: So where did your husband go?

Rinoa: _Umm. They found him._

Adam: Oh boy!

Seifer: Ha! I told you, you couldn't hide forever!

Rinoa: _Seifer! You may not have broken any of the rules this time, but what you are doing is just wrong! And you know it!_

Seifer: Rinoa, I'm going to ask you something and answer honestly. If you found out that Squally-boy was cheating on you, wouldn't you want who ever he cheated with to be taught a lesson?

Rinoa: _This isn't about me._

Seifer: You're avoiding my question, Rinny. If Fujin here caught me cheating, she'd kill me and who ever I slept with.

Fujin: AFFIRMATIVE!

Seifer: And besides, you're a sorceress for Hyne's sake! You could have stopped this at anytime! You could have put the whole Garden under with a big 'Sleep' spell or something. I know how much you love Zell and Xu! You want this done just as much as the rest of us!

Rinoa: (pauses) _Just don't tell Squall or I'll go sorceress on your ass!_ _Understood?_

Seifer: (chucking) You're secret is safe with me, Rinny.

Rinoa: _You owe me big time!_

Seifer: Anything!

Rinoa: (pause) _I get to help plan your wedding!_

Seifer: Sure. (Pause, slight whispering is heard) Rinoa, Fu says you can be maid of honor if you put Squall to sleep.

Rinoa: (giggling) _Out of the question! I don't cast spells on my husband. Besides, as much as I hate Nida right now, I don't want him killed._

Seifer: (more whispering) Rinoa, is your phone portable?

Rinoa: _Of course! Why?_

Seifer: Fujin says you can be a bridesmaid if you slow him down and go to the fight and report the action to us!

Rinoa: _Deal! Hold on a sec! _(Pause) _Okay, I'm here! They found Nida in one of the Trepe's dorms!_

Adam: How'd she get there so fast?

Drew: Sorceress, remember?

Seifer: Teleport, to be specific. Okay, Rinny, you're on! What's happening?

Rinoa: _Okay! Squall isn't here yet! I got him stuck in the elevator from his office. Nida, Amanda, and some of the Trepes are in the dorm room with the door locked. Zell's standing right in front of it, yell for Nida to come out and face him like a man!_

Seifer: Not such a chicken-wuss after all!

Rinoa: _Selphie is out here too, screaming for Amanda to come out as well! Raijin is getting ready to break the door down along with the rest of the D.C. _

Seifer: Is Xu there yet?

Rinoa: _She just got here. Yes! She had the master key for the dorm room!_

Adam: How did she get that?

Seifer: Being second in command has its perks!

Adam: Ah! Until now, I bet Nida thought that was a blessing!

Seifer: (laughing loudly) I bet he's pissing his freaking pants right now! 

Rinoa: _Wow! The door is open! This is so exciting! Zell went in first, Raijin and Xu followed. Oh Hyne, Zell's dragging Nida out by his hair! And he did piss his pants!_

Seifer: (laughing even louder) I knew it!

Adam: Take your punishment like a man, chicken-wuss!

Rinoa: _Ouch! Zell just punched Nida in the face, that's definitely a broken nose. Ooh my, there's a kick to the groin! Sorry, but I can't repeat what Zell is saying to him._

Drew: This is just getting insane!

Seifer: Don't worry Dr. Drew. Rinoa will stop it if it gets out of hand.

Rinoa: _Yes, I will. But so far, Nida is taking this like a man. He's not fighting back. And Zell is capable of much more damage than he's causing right now. Oh! There's a kick to the ribs! Wait! Selphie is now dragging Amanda out! Here they go! Selphie slapped Amanda in the face saying 'This is for Xu!'. No Selphie! No weapons or I'll stop this right now! Fists only!_

Seifer: See! She's got 'em under control.

Drew: That's a little better, but not much.

Adam: You're such a friggin' pest, Drew!

Rinoa: _Thank you, Quisty. Quisty took away Selphie's chucks. Selphie just kicked Amanda in the stomach three times saying 'And this is for Zell!'. Zell is looking at her funny. _(Pause, a loud female voice is saying something in the background) _Wow! Selphie just proclaimed her love for Zell right here! Aww, Zell's kissing Selphie. _(Mumbling) _What? _(A man is saying something) _You want me to heal Nida's nose so you can break it again? I won't do that, that's just cruel._

Seifer: I know who that is! Tell him that Nida needs some black eyes to go along with the broken nose!

Rinoa: _Seifer says to give him black eyes. _(Pause, someone yelling in pain in the background) _Yikes! Don't blind him! _(Another pause) _Yes, you can kick him in there again, but only once! _(Another yell) _Maybe I shouldn't have said that. What now? _(Pause followed by a giggle) _Are you sure you wanna do this over the radio?_

Adam: What does he want to do?

Rinoa: _Hold on, he'll tell you! _(A man voice) _Hello?_

Adam: We're all here. What do you wanna say?

???: _I just wanna tell the whole world that I love Xu! She's the prettiest, smartest, and best Lieutenant Commander in the whole world, ya know! _(Pause) _Xu, I know I'm not the best looking guy or the smartest, but I love you! And I'll never cheat on you, ya know! And I'll beat the crap outta anybody that says anything bad about you! I promise! _(Pause, a female voice is saying something) _Really! Here, take the phone, Rinoa!_

Rinoa: _Aww! _(Sniffles) _That's so sweet! They're kissing too!_

Fujin: Happy! (Sniffles too)

Seifer: Way to go!

Adam: See Drew! A happy ending!

Drew: Joy.

Rinoa: _Uh oh!_

Adam, Drew, Seifer, and Fujin: What?

Rinoa: _Squall's coming! Okay everybody, none of you saw me here! And if you say anything to my husband…well, you know what I am and what I can do! Quisty, take the phone and give it back to me later. But don't let Squall see it. Bye, guys!_

Adam: Thank you, Mrs. Leonheart! Quistis?

Quistis: _I'm here and hiding. Squall is here, but he doesn't see me. Boy, is he pissed! He's even got his gunblade out! Xu is talking to him now. _(Pause) _Alright!_

Adam: What happened?

Quistis: _Xu told him that she only came with us to see that the situation didn't get out of hand and he bought it. Oh no! He found me! _(Pause, Squall is saying something) _How did you know about Rinoa? _(Pause) _Oh hell!_

Drew: What is it, Quistis?

Quistis: _I forgot that this station is on the elevator radio. Sorry, Rinny!_

Adam: Oh man! That sucks!

Quistis: _Please, don't be too mad at her Squall! _(Pause) _What? That's not a good idea! _(Another pause) _I know I don't have any room to talk, but…_(pause, man's voice.) _Seifer?_

Seifer: What do you want, Squally?

Squall: _It's my turn to make deals!_

Seifer: What did you have in mind?

Squall: _You and me, Duel's hill, after the show, for some practicing! No GF's, no weapons. Just one-on-one. The winner is decided by who ever gets knocked out first. If you win, I won't punish you, Zell, or Selphie. If I win, you all get cafeteria duty for the next four months!_

Seifer: (grunting) Wouldn't that be against your precious rules, Commander?

Squall: _What? You scared to practice with me, lapdog?_

Seifer: (growling) You're on, puberty-boy!

Fujin: Oh boy!

Adam: Well…sorry folks! That's all the time we have for this show. Our guest, Seifer Almasy, has some practicing to do and has to leave. It was nice having you on the show, as well as Fujin and all of your friends. This is Adam Carrolla and Dr. Drew saying mahallow.

Notes: I know what you're saying! Another cliffhanger???? Well, I couldn't decide who I wanted to win, so I didn't write it. And I decided that I probably couldn't top this Love Line episode, so I'm not writing anymore for now. But you can go ahead and give me suggestions on who should be on the show next. Who knows? Maybe it'll inspire me to write another, and maybe I'll even decide who won!


End file.
